If someone had told me that I would be one hundred and six, and just now grasping the concept of belonging, I would have been insulted. That’s not to say that I’m filled with the warm fuzzies for everyone and we are one big happy family, but… I think we are bonding. In our own ways.
This sounds stupid to write, and even worse to say but I’d changed my mind about what I wrote before. It wasn’t Telk’s fault. I can’t even write why, but it’s bad. Really bad. He was used and manipulated, same as me, same as any other changeling. Bertolin started it, taught him to hide himself, made him what he is. It’s not his fault, and yeah, I believe him. Maybe I’m just blind, but I believe him. I also know that he’s killed for me, which isn’t something that I can say about just about anyone, that Troll, the sheep, and the cats to Marybelle.
That’s another thing, the kid has this ability, she can just slough off her corruption like it never happened. She forgets what she did that was bad and poof, she’s all better. Only problem is that she corrupts whatever she puts it into. Kara is all bent out of shape over the wild dogs. I know she’s been taking care of them, but her standoffishness is only making me trust her less. Yes you can trust less than zero.
So, back to the kid. Marybelle was just a girl, I was here age when I found out, only my momma had tried to protect me. Her’s is gone, which means she had one mean father willing to beat her senseless for the smallest infraction. I hit him, I meant to scare him, not make him leave her. It’s fine though, I don’t even blame the kid for killing him, I’d have done it given the chance. He reminded me too much of my own father.
I’d like to say that I don’t know why Telk has decided that he wants to care for her, but I think I’ve figured it out. I just hope that he doesn’t pay for it if something goes wrong. He’s got to be more careful about what he says. He makes promises a little too carelessly. Either that or he really thinks I’m worth trusting, which is probably a personality flaw on his part. I’m not honest, and I’m not good. You don’t survive in this world all pristine, especially when you have people looking for a reason to hate you.
I’m teaching the kid and Telk to shapeshift. He’s been using a ritual to mask himself, and it would hold off any corruption if he did it like me. It would save the kid too, it took me years to figure it out, and now it’s like slipping on a second coat. It will save her some heart ache, and maybe give her the normal life no one else got. No witches, or wizards to make her a slave, I mean apprentice. She’ll be able to make up her own mind and maybe grow up half way normal.
I probably should write about some other things that have happened, but to be be honest, it’s too personal to put here. If someone were to read it… it might do bad things, so you don’t get to know. Sorry. No one is going to steer anyone that I’ve decided to protect because I wrote a journal.